


Not At All What You Wanted

by wickedradical



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Kankri pov, Kind of a vent fic, he gets a kiss but it doesnt end well, i dont care if its march i can write a fic w mistletoe fight me alright, i guess, idk if it counts for just kissing, non con kinda??, um i dont know how to tag this, um very descriptive and uncomfortable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 20:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10170959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedradical/pseuds/wickedradical
Summary: “Hey, Kankles, didn’t you hear?” She grinned, showing off her shiny white teeth. You gulped, eyeing them nervously. You could just barely see her gaze from behind her nearly opaque red glasses, but it seemed predatory. It sent a shiver up your posture pole.“When you’re under mistletoe,” She pointed to the plant hanging from the ceiling, but it seemed miles away from your vantage point. You’d forgotten just howtallshe was. “You kiss.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Touch Me Not](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8351392) by [FailureArtist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist). 



It all started under the mistletoe.

“Mistletoe” was a human tradition. As those strange aliens- Er, _foreigners_ had passed through your humble post-life abode, they’d brought with them plenty of strange words and traditions.

You could hardly believe they only had one type of romance! It must’ve been a lot easier to keep up with than four, you supposed, but it was still rather queer.

Traces of them remained long after they'd left, bad quality drawings and the human slam poetry that they called “rap”. You’d told Meenah on more than one occasion to please use some kinder language whilst singing, but you highly doubted she’d listen. A shame, since her voice wasn't half bad when she wasn't screaming profanities. Well, no matter. Even Latula and Mituna got into it, much to your chagrin and disapproval.

Speaking of Latula, she was the one who’d gotten you into such a frazzled mental state recently. Well, technically it was the mistletoe, but it felt easier to have a troll to blame it on.

Even if it was your flushcrush.

The tealblood had gotten along quite while with the human knight while his crew had passed through. You supposed that’s where she got the knowledge of human customs. In all honesty, you were a bit jealous. You personally had been busy trying to teach your little ancestor.

And what a reaction you had received!  He was stunned speechless, squawk blister hanging wide open to reveal his nubby teeth. You’d felt rather proud that day, not only of finding such a willing participant in your lectures, but of yourself for having him so enthralled!

Anyhow, you were far too busy to learn about what a weed hanging from the ceiling meant. And, completely unlike the educated scholar that you were(because dunce could be offensive to some trolls), you stood right underneath it.

And Latula had gotten far too close, or, as she would say, ‘all up in your grill’. Once you’d sputtered out a question of just _what on Beforus she was doing_ , she’d leaned back with a loud, raucous laugh. _Those Pyropes_.. They were sight and smell-deficient, not hearing! Why did they have to be so _loud_?

“Hey, Kankles, didn’t you hear?” She grinned, showing off her shiny white teeth. You gulped, eyeing them nervously. You could just barely see her gaze from behind her nearly opaque red glasses, but it seemed predatory. It sent a shiver up your posture pole.

“When you’re under mistletoe,” She pointed to the plant hanging from the ceiling, but it seemed miles away from your vantage point. You’d forgotten just how _tall_ she was. “You kiss.”

Your throat was dry, your lips chapped, and your face pale. “You what,” you stammered, unsure you’d heard correctly. Was wishful thinking finally clouding your reasoning so much that it was physically hindering you? You dug a claw in your ear thoughtfully.

“Here, dude.” She’d leaned down, hands moving from her hips to rest on your shoulders gently. The touch was electrifying, but not in a good way.

Not at all.

Her immaculately painted claws moved down your arms, and despite the cozy thickness of your sweater, you could feel how sharp they were. They trailed down to brush against your wrists, and you’d taken a step back in surprise. But the girl caught you before you went to far, intertwining her fingers with yours.

Her face was mere inches away, and the grin that spread across her face was anything but what your fantasies were like. This was not gentle, not calm, not caring.. This _wasn’t_ what you wanted. This was bad.

You felt her breath against your face, and opened your talk blaster to remark on her quickly she was breathing. Best not to hyperventilate, that could be detrimental to your health. But as you tried, you found your meal tunnel was painfully dry. You were breathless, your vision blurry at the edges. _You_ were the one hyperventilating.

Her breath was hot as she giggled against your forehead. “Like this.” Lately puckered her lips, and you nearly choked as she closed in. Your eyes were shut tight, bracing for impact. However, they shot open as you realized that she’d only pecked the tip of your nose.

You nearly sobbed in relief, heaving a huge exhale. She was so close, all you could see was the red of her shades and the shiny black of her lips. She licked them, smirking.

“Ready to try for the lips?”

You almost threw up, your squeal pipette clenching tightly. You gulped, forcing half-digested grubloaf back down. You felt your pump biscuit battering away at your calcium chest rods like a human jackhammer. You were shaking, and apparently she took that to be a nod, because she was coming _closer_.

As her lips pressed against your own, you felt a drop of dismay fluid streak down your cheek. It felt like an eternity, an eternity that you were _trapped_ , stone still and unable to struggle away. You couldn’t _do_ anything.

And then it was finally _over_. You broke away from her grasp, staring down at your strut pods as your gut twisted sickeningly. You sniffled, trying in vain to snuff back the pale red snot dripping from your left snort barrel. You finally wiped at it with your sleeve.  Surely Porrim would murder you if she saw you desecrating your sweater in this way, but this was a special case.

“Call me if ya want more action, ya hear?” You looked up in shock. She was _still_ there. “Here are my digits.” Latula lowered her glasses a second to wink, handing you a slip of paper before running off with another noisy chuckle.

You stared at the scrawled numbers before crumpling up the paper and shoving it in one of your many pockets. The height of such pants certainly had their advantages. More and more dismay fluid dripped from your glance nuggets, and you sniffled even louder.

Your vision was blurring again, not with dizziness, but with pale red tears. The noises of the room blurred together, but one broke out above them all. It was a laugh, but distinctly different, far more nasally.

_Ah, the head case._ You mentally slapped yourself for even thinking such a potentially triggering term, shaking your head to clear it. Mituna just had special needs, that was all. Still, as you walked away, you heard his slurred voice bouncing off the walls. He had _no_ excuse to make fun of you, mental issues or not.

So maybe you’d never experienced kissing before! It certainly wasn’t his place to judge. You’d always thought it sounded like something out of a dream, a page ripped from one of your guilty pleasure romance novels hidden away behind a dictionary or two on Beforan Culling.

But it wasn’t.

Not at _all_ what you’d wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> god im tired there are probly so many errors i wrote this in an hour give or take holy dang  
> just  
> not feeling rad and my art wasnt cooperating so i decided to write it out  
> also i looked up lots of canon troll terminology whoops  
> the only one i made up was ribs- calcium chest rods


End file.
